Strategically Using Compliments in Relationship Building

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Strategic Complimenting

Compliments are an extremely effective way to build morale and relationships. However, they are not as easy to employ as one might think. It’s not just a matter of saying something nice; it’s a matter of saying something positive about something that is important to the other person. There are two broad types, extrinsic and…

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Strategic Complimenting (Pt 2): Six Expectations

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Strategic Complimenting

Linda Hill and Kent Lineback write in their April 5, 2011 HBR Blog Network post, “Why Does Criticism Seem More Effective than Praise?”: A lot of evidence suggests that positive reinforcement — identifying and building on strengths — will produce better results than a relentless focus on faults. However, as post’s title suggests, this isn’t…

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Inadequacies of the Generic “Good Job” Compliment

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Strategic Complimenting

A commenter inquired why the “good job” compliment isn’t intrinsic since “doing that good job comes from inside a person (an experience, or a value); it’s not something that can be taken away.” There are three main reasons. They also serve to explain why the compliment, while acceptable, is inferior to other compliments. First, “doing…

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Complimenting with These Two Words is Powerful

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Strategic Complimenting

Complimenting is critical to our success. There are many ways to do it. Some ways are better than others. Complimenting is critical to networking upward. It presents us as positive and happy. It massages egos and lowers guards. Strategic complimenting is critical to leadership. It builds organizational cultures and teams. It motivates and develops people….

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Strategic Complimenting vs. Spontaneity

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Strategic Complimenting

When I advocated using compliments strategically, Diana asked: Why do you have to use compliments “strategically” and not be spontaneously? The short answer is the same as with any kind of introspection, thought or planning for an endeavor: it can be more effective, enjoyable and enlightening. Aren’t we often appreciative when someone put thought and…

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