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2 Jun 2011

Emotional Self-defense for Sensitive People (Pt 1): Awareness

This entry is part 1 of 9 in the series Emotional Self-defense for Sensitive People

Periodically, I help sensitive people so I have special life management techniques set aside for them. A recent success has encouraged me to document some. I begin with raising their awareness for their gift.

The first point I make to sensitive people is that they are more in tune with their own emotions and the emotions of others than other people are. While almost all of them believe this is a curse, I share advantages. Primarily, they will tend to do much better at assessing the emotional state of groups and individuals. I even identified for one CEO the one employee she should talk to if she wanted to get a quick pulse on her employees.

When sensitive people try to explain their feelings, problems usually occur. Since most people will likely be less sensitive, they won’t feel the same. They’ll just say the sensitive person is wrong or way off base. This hurts them and creates self-doubt. As a result, they adopt the majority view even if they feel it’s not best.

The second point I make is that even though others don’t feel what they feel it doesn’t mean they aren’t being affected. It’s just whereas it’s happening on a conscious level for them it’s happening on a subconscious level for the others. Everyone has different levels of consciousness.  Eventually, these feelings will “bubble up” from their subconscious to manifest themselves in actions, thoughts and feelings.

When I talk to sensitive people, it’s not unusual for them to feel that they get the emotional temperature of the individual or group rather quickly. However, it’s very normal to find them talked out of doing what they believe will work or going about their work beneath the radar. Thus, raising their awareness is usually a huge relief.


Series NavigationEmotional Self-defense for Sensitive People (Pt 2): The Unconscious >>

8 Responses

  1. Mon

    Oh goodness, I am going to enjoy reading this. I definitely feel like it’s a curse being sensitive, but I feel that there is always good in everything.But it’s so darn hard dealing with it sometimes. .__. I’m going through my birth chart, and it states that I lean towards “escapism”, and it’s true. I just stay in my room. Some people just seem to lack compassion, and it hurts to see people suffer from this.

  2. Nice write up!
    Never looked at this as a curse per say…. I find myself needing “alone time”. Now that I am the age I am, I find it tiring to be around groups of people. Body language and what is coming out of their mouths are two different things and it is just tiring…..


    1. Mike Lehr

      Thank you for visiting, Coralie. Yes, you are definitely not alone in those feelings. I know many who feel the same way. It does help to find those who are on the same wave length. Keep in mind, that solitary confinement is torture, whether you’re extroverted or introverted. Thus, the point is that it helps to have social interactions. The real challenge is finding folks who energize you rather than tire you. As we mature, we tend to become more selective, much because our time is more precious relatively speaking. Groups tend to tire us more because they often lack the intimacy that really has the potential to energize us.

      I appreciate you stopping by for a visit, Coralie. Enjoy your day! ~Mike

  3. Astrid

    The hard part is finding a job or a manager that accepts me being sensitive. It’s like you said. When explaining my feelings about what’s really going on in the company it”s usually not accepted and denied. It gets me in trouble every time, so yes, I usually shut up.

    1. Mike Lehr

      I’m sad that you’ve run into those situations. They are not uncommon. Sometimes, it takes time for those problems to manifest themselves. If you know they are coming and others don’t, it’s a matter of biding your time. That’s why crises are usually the best time to promote change. Other times, people know there are problems but don’t acknowledge them because they require work. If we don’t acknowledge a problem, there is no work to be done.

      I thank you for stopping by, visiting and commenting. I appreciate it. ~Mike

  4. Laura

    Mike, this is not a specific comment on this post but a general note of praise for this site. It is so heart-warming to see the comments from people and your nice, helpful responses. This is truly an amazing site. I’ll probably be reading it for most of the day!

    1. Mike Lehr

      Thank you, Laura. I appreciate that. Please consider subscribing to the blog. Even if you read most of them on Twitter or other social media, it does help me. Meanwhile, tell all your friends about the blog. I have some upgrades in the works, but the mission and approach remain the same. Thank you for visiting and complimenting. ~Mike

  5. Pingback : 5 Things on High Sensitivity #5 | SENSITIVE NEW WORLD

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