Leverage Relationships in Conversations, A Technique (Pt 2)

We can use specific phrasing to helps us leverage relationships in our conversations.

When we leverage relationships in conversations. There are two aspects. There is the bonding of the conversation to the receiver through personalization and compliments and then to the initiator, us. This post is the second part of the latter, bonding the conversation to us. In Part #1, we bonded the conversation to us by indicating how the receiver helps us. In Part #2, we’ll solidify that bond by gaining a commitment to help us that is stronger than merely asking outright without the other steps.

From our original statements (10, 20, 30 and 40), we took the initial steps to tie them to us (21, 31 and 41). Version #41 was our final upgrade because it incorporated an intrinsic compliment, so here it is with our original statement, #10:

10. Our new business model helps us deliver better service to clients because we can deliver everything through a single contact.

41. John, our new business model helps me deliver better service to clients because it allows you to help me by better positioning your natural talent to relate to others.

Comparing the two shows a dramatic difference.  The next step is going to have two sub-steps. First, we make a connection between a personal attribute of the receiver (others respect him) to the initiator by acknowledging that one will help the other.

42. John, our new business model helps me deliver better service to clients because it allows you to help me by better positioning your natural talent to relate to others.  I’m counting on your support because I know others respect you and your work, so I’d appreciate your help.

Next, we firm it up by directly asking the receiver to help us.

43. John, our new business model helps me deliver better service to clients because it allows you to help me by better positioning your natural talent to relate to others.  I’m counting on your support because I know others respect you and your work, so I’d appreciate your help.  Will you help me out?

Now, contrast this to a perspective saying, “I pay this person.  He should just do what I say.”  This overlooks the varying degrees of effort from mere compliance, doing the minimum to escape repercussions, to beyond the call of duty. It takes quite an employee to do the latter over a sustained drought of personalized, positive reinforcement.

Of course, I’ve severely condensed several concepts into a single iteration of three sentences. In reality, we tailor each concept to fit seamlessly into the conversation. I will show this schematically in Part #3 so we can further the impact of leveraging the relationships we’ve so dearly nurtured.